Homepage Banner Copy Test: $19K/Month Case Study
[ SUMMARIZE WITH AI ]
Simple and clear beats vague benefits. Always.
We tested homepage banner messaging for a 7-figure VR gunstock brand. The control used benefit-driven copy: "Dominate the Battlefield with Speed & Precision." Sounds good. Says nothing specific.
The winner? "THE BEST DAMN VR GUNSTOCK ON THE PLANET."
Results: +$19,441/mo revenue.
Clear product identification + confident positioning crushed vague benefit language.
The Problem With Benefit-First Headlines
The control headline was "DOMINATE THE BATTLEFIELD WITH SPEED & PRECISION."
It's not bad copy. It speaks to the outcome. It uses action words. It follows the classic "sell the benefit, not the feature" playbook.
But it has a problem: it doesn't tell you what the product actually is.
"Dominate the battlefield" could be about a gaming mouse. A controller. A chair. Software. Anything.
For a niche product like a VR gunstock, clarity matters more than cleverness. Most visitors don't know what a VR gunstock is. The homepage banner needs to tell them.
The Hypothesis
Enhancing the hero banner copy with a bolder, more compelling message will immediately capture attention, create stronger brand positioning, and increase engagement. By making the value proposition clearer and more persuasive, this change will drive higher conversions and revenue.
Two bets in one:
- Clarity: Say what the product is, directly
- Confidence: Claim the top spot, unapologetically
Test Setup
Page: Homepage
Location: Banner
Platform: Intelligems
Test Type: A/B test
Control
Headline: "DOMINATE THE BATTLEFIELD WITH SPEED & PRECISION"
Subhead: "OneStock VR Gunstock - The World's Most Adaptable VR Shooter Accessory"
CTA: "Try It Now Risk-Free"
The product name was in the subhead. But the headline itself was pure benefit language with no product specificity.
Variation (Winner)
Headline: "THE BEST DAMN VR GUNSTOCK ON THE PLANET"
Subhead: "OneStock - The World's Most Adaptable VR Shooter Accessory"
CTA: "Try It Now Risk-Free"
Below banner: "MASTER IN SECONDS. THEN DOMINATE."
Product category in the headline. Bold superlative claim. Benefit language moved to supporting copy.
Results
Winner: Variation
| Metric | Improvement |
|---|---|
| Monthly Revenue | +$19,441 |
Same page. Same product. Same CTA. Different headline. Nearly $20K/mo difference.
Why It Worked
1. Clarity in the headline, not the subhead
Headlines get read. Subheads often don't.
The control buried "VR Gunstock" in the subhead. The variation put it front and center. Visitors immediately knew what they were looking at.
For niche products, this matters. You can't assume people know what you sell.
2. Superlatives work when you can back them up
"THE BEST DAMN VR GUNSTOCK ON THE PLANET" is a big claim. But this brand can support it with reviews, features, and market position.
Confident copy signals confidence in the product. If you hedge ("one of the best," "a great option"), you sound uncertain. Customers pick up on that.
Make the claim. Then prove it on the rest of the page.
3. Benefits moved to supporting role
The benefit language didn't disappear. It moved.
"MASTER IN SECONDS. THEN DOMINATE." now sits below the banner. The benefits are still there, but clarity comes first.
Hierarchy matters. Lead with what it is. Follow with why it matters.
4. The homepage banner is the highest-traffic real estate
Every visitor sees the homepage banner. It's the most viewed element on most ecommerce sites.
Small copy changes here have outsized impact because the exposure is massive. A headline that converts 1% better can mean thousands in additional revenue.
What This Means for Hero Copy
Your homepage headline has one job: get the right people to keep scrolling.
That means clarity first. They need to know they're in the right place.
Things to test:
- Product category in the headline: Don't make people guess what you sell
- Superlative claims: "Best," "Most," "#1" (if you can back it up)
- Specificity: "VR Gunstock" beats "VR Accessory" beats "Gaming Gear"
- Benefit placement: Try moving benefits to subhead or supporting copy
The classic "sell benefits not features" advice isn't wrong. But it's incomplete. Clarity beats cleverness, especially above the fold.
FAQ
Isn't "best" a weak word in copywriting?
Generic "best" is weak. "Best damn VR gunstock on the planet" is specific and confident.
The difference is context. "Best" attached to a clear product category with attitude works. "The best solution for your needs" is meaningless.
What if you're not actually the best?
Then don't claim it. Find what you are best at.
Best for beginners. Best value. Best for a specific use case. Most customizable. Most reviewed. Find your angle and own it.
Should every brand use superlatives?
No. Superlatives work when you have proof. Reviews, awards, market share, feature comparisons.
If you can't back up the claim, it feels hollow. And customers will sniff that out.
How do you test headline copy without redesigning the page?
Text-only changes are the easiest tests to run. No design work, no dev time. Just swap the copy and measure.
With Intelligems, you can test headline variations without touching your theme code. Low effort, high potential impact.
This test was run using Intelligems as part of a CONVERTIBLES personalization program. Want to see what copy optimizations could do for your homepage? Book a call to get 3 personalized recommendations for your store.